When your wife is unavailable or unwilling to have a real conversation about the state of your marriage, it may be a sign that she's reached a breaking point, said R. Scott Gornto, a marriage therapist in Plano, Texas. {snip} If your boyfriend likes to hang out with hid buddies at a bar, let him, it's one of his things. Hang in there and be strong. Those moments of falling asleep. You're still with this guy? Don't let him treat you this way any longer. I had a boyfriend that tried to convince me that this guys night out was essential so imagine my surprise when i first met my husband that was changing his work schedule, moving so he could spend more time with me. Archived post. And this isnt a buddy he needs to catch up with, they see each other weekly. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. He continually apologizes and says it wont happen again, but it does, often only a week later. And the fact that theyre by a lake where they can swim and the fact that they have fireworks just is making me worry. "Your partner has likely become emotionally numb," he said. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Now, I don't drink alcohol at all ever, under any circumstances,so I have a bias against his drinking/partying. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. A man that is done with his buddies? I felt very disrespected. So i think a text if he is staying out later than expected, isn't too much to ask. Some people, also, need less sleep than others to function properly during the day. Reddit, Inc. 2023. About once a week, during the work week, he stays out. This matters when you care about someone. I love hanging out with my buddies at bars or do something fun Friday and Saturday night. I got soooo tired of her naging on this that I broke up with her (of course there were other she-had-to-controll-me-reasons aswell). Its common courtesy - the respect you give your partner in a relationship. He clearly does not care. 156 Answers Last Updated: 12/03/2022 at 3:12pm 1 Tip to Feel Better Moderated by Graham Barrone, ICHP, MCBT Counselor If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat. I can't sleep otherwise. if he isnt with someone else why not answer? The more you hassle him about it the more he will want to be away from you and the later he will stay out. TL;DR how do I stop worrying about my boyfriend while hes out drinking. Eventually I told him I wanted to change our sleep schedule and since then its been a battle. How to Deal With Your Boyfriend Going Out: Overcoming Anxiety - wikiHow Being out until 6am makes me think he is spending the night with someone and then coming home in the am, This is not a good situation and if he doesn't help you now then he won't help you anyway when the babies come. Do you really expect him to be "out with the guys" and then say that he has to get home by 1am and not be a minute late or he's in trouble with you, and that he also has to text you to let you know he is on the way? Sorry, night owl/early bird couples: Differing sleep schedules may seem like no big thing, but it's more harmful than you realize, said Marcia Naomi Berger, a psychotherapist and author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes to the Relationship You've Always Wanted. All I'm saying is that when he invites me over the next day then all he has to do is go to bed like 3 or 4 hours earlier than he usually does. To late?? Mother-daughter actors Laura Dern and Diane Ladd share all in Honey He sleeps all day then stays out all night, you're carrying HIS CHILDREN, twins!! He is 26 and I am 22. I feel guilty taking him away from what he enjoys, but I feel alone. Then he'll come home at like 6am and makes me so mad.. I never said my husband wasn't taking care of me and wasn't a man. If he is staying out all nite, he is probably either drinking with his buddies or has another woman. Get a time that your date is to begin, and if he isn't there or doesn't call within 20-30 minutes then DO SOMETHING ELSE. He's treating you like a doormat that he can abuse and you will still be waiting up for him whenever he decides to come home. My boyfriend will go every few weeks with his friends and stay out late with little contact. Its worth mentioning that weve been in lockdown, and hes not supposed to be partying with others anyway. Sex used to be a daily recurrence but now it's once or maybe twice a week. No matter what he is putting you in a bad situation that he shouldn't be if he actually cares about you or those babies at all. Learn more about, Learn About What to Expect's Pregnancy & Baby App. I don't think it's good advice to tell the OP to stay with someone who's going out and gone all night every night. PRW I feel your reply is very harsh and not understanding at all. Bf staying out all night and ignores me Feb 22, 2021 Good morning all! 6. Why does my boyfriend stay up all night? I assume at some point the party left the office and went to someones house. It is easy to say "go to sleep" when my mind won't. This is my first post and I guess I just want some advice from those in a similar position to me. I felt like a bus had run over me. Find someone who is worthy of your time and love. A lot of his friends are wasters and do not work so I hate him being with them anyway. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! If Im not spending time with my spouse, eating with him and doing activities together then whats the point? Thank you all for the responses.. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Am I right to be upset with him? He also sleeps in all day and wakes up at 3pm and then just goes to work and doesn't even help out around the house. Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Their job is to try to find a way to make everything "work" [somehow],we here in this forum are likely to get in the way of that. I guess it's not his whereabouts, I don't care where he is.. but just a text or call to say he will be home late especially as we have argued over this on numerous occasions and I feel he isn't respecting my feelings. (and of course it's because he didn't get enough sleep) So I end up waisting my whole freakin day waiting on him hoping that maybe this time he won't sleep all day. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. The words "alcoholic," "alcoholism," and "alcohol abuse . Let it be. 2 days of "and the lord heard me - i have my answers" || nsppd || 6th july 2023 He was kind enough to invite me to live at his place. I've explained multiple times how much this behavior bothers me and affects me. I know that doesn't mean he will. I stayed up all night worried about him, pissed off at him, pissed off at myself for putting up with it, etc. Edit: I just want to add some clarity; we tried his schedule for 3 years but I was only sleeping 4 hours a night on that schedule because of work, and then would come home to take a nap. Privacy Policy. This man treats you as a room-mate, you're convenient to him, taking this to counseling is ridiculous. Or, if it is his choice, it may just be for fun. Start fresh and enjoy those babies. Its always been an issue for me in our 4+ year relationship because I hate sleeping in till 1,2, or 3pm. But he just not contributing or comforting to me at all. I can't relate cuz I would have left ages ago. Then he'll come home at like 6am and makes me so mad.. He's done this more then I can count on both hands throughout my pregnancy. It's common courtesy - the respect you give your partner in a relationship. Why did you pick a man like this to give your love to? We have gone up and down with this whole thing, and it has even come down to me getting so upset that i insist I will end the relationship if it doesn't change (I would NOT recommend this strategy if you are not prepared to follow through, as I wasn't, because it is manipulative and will not help at all). A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. If you know how any women feels you would know that wouldn't make them feel good. What would have happened if he 'passed out' from those Xanax while driving? I forgot to add that in my case the computer "addcition" started out as just a weekend thing. I have plenty of fun without drinking. But I make it a point to not tell someone explicitly to either break up or stay together,that is their choice, not mine. I dont mind staying up late (like 2 or 3 am) but he stays up till 5,6,7,8am+ sometimes. Get yourself out of that situation. Lastly, we stay at my house, where I pay all the bills, rent, everything. 2. Basically: How would you feel if your SO stayed out all night drinking and didn't come home until 6-7am the next morning (unplanned)? well he chooses to hang out with these guys, so that speaks volumes. You may experience serious drowsiness at first, but your body. Video: See tense moment when Russian soldiers surrendered He pre-warned me that he didnt think itd gonpast midnight, but he wasnt sure, so he would sleep in the spare room if it was late. Edit: UPDATE After being out til 4am Friday night (last text was at 1:30 that he was leaving soon, but instead he party-hopped) I told him I needed space and went to my parents for all of Sat and overnight. Sorry. Yes it sucked for everything to come to a sudden halt (we had a beer fest that weekend too that we missed.) Would you be ****** off if your OH stayed out all night? He also had taken photos of women's bums without their knowledge on a constant basis, randomly in public and described it as almost a compulsion, which he promised he knocked on the head after i found out. I wake up a round 2am and will text or call, sometimes to no answer. It really bothers me and makes me think "what the hell does he do all night." It really bothers me and makes me think what the hell does he do all night. What am i supposed to do, ive tried talking to him about it and he doesnt give me a valid response. I have on several occasions seen photos of naked and soft porn images on his phone and downloaded photos of my friend from FB the night after he met her with me in the pub. Over the years you've gotten some really great advice from people here, and yet you're still assuming that there's a way to fix this. You are the one that makes the choices in who you are with. The Night I Was Drugged With My Husband We would like to show you a description here but the site won't allow us. What ever happened to a good old fashioned fishing trip with the boys? PRW I feel your reply is very harsh and not understanding at all. This is a constant fight between us. Im hoping to find a remote job so My Estranged mother is coming to surprise me. Maybe he's trying to "get it all out" before the babies come. I [24yr/f] will admit I enjoying playing them too but not like this. Ask yourself "if he keeps doing this every d. You need to get strong and take back your life. OP your boyfriend is an immature, lying, shady boy. Staying out until 6 am and getting a pass for not being able to grow up? The fact is he isn't listening to him. Now if this was every weekend or every few nights, then yea, I'd be concerned,but it is not. The best cure for your anxiety is to dump him. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I don't hear from him at all when he is out even if I txt when saying I am worried he doesn't answer back. She didn't mention them till later. I do like having time to myself but I enjoy his company as well. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. This is a constant fight between us. Point being, there is no advice that can be given to you to change this situation because it's been going on the whole time you've been together, he has never cared about your feelings about it, and there is nothing you can say or do to make him care. I thought i would die of heartbreak with 2 breakups, went to my parents & cried for a week unable to eat, get out of bed but i lived to see the day i would find the right one. You clearly don't know guys very well. Its common courtesy that he tell you when he will be home and/or answer his phone if it is late and you are trying to reach him. Cookie Notice 3 months was all I can take of him saying he'd be home early but not coming back until 2am, 3am or even the next day. Privacy Policy. If you don't you won't be able to sustain an relationship. How to Help an Alcoholic Boyfriend You will be upset with yourself in 3 years from now when you are the one primarily raising them and they have his name instead of yours. I guess I just get overwhelmed and need the reassurance that he will be home. That's not what's happening with her. We spend mostly every other night together when we are not out with friends. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . You are still young and there are plenty of fish out there to pick from. He mentioned that he had been wallowing all day Sat and felt really bad, but Ive heard all the apologies and guilt before and it never changes. If you don't get your act together he will eventually give you the boot which will probably come after a big explosion of "drama" instigated by you. Writing into this forum may not be the best thing to do if you are in counseling,the Counselor may even see it as something competing with them or at least getting in the way of what they want to do. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). What is he bringing to the table? When you are in a committed relationship your work to minimize the other's distress. But how can any of that happen if we can't stop arguing over this? He clearly doesn't care about you. Try Meeting in the Middle. I do so much for him and always think if him and I feel one little text isn't much to ask. We love playing poker together and watching our shows, and have a great time together but this has been a consistent issue in our lives. This matters when you care about someone. I would not stay with a man who routinely viewed photos of women he knows & especially not of women I know. The lack of his own motivation has lead to decrease in sex, a social life, and caused some concerning amount of weight gain. I love him now and I cant walk away Thats not an answer from a woman who has any kind of self respect. This should be obvious. Other times just loudly walking into our room and talking to me, or, spilling a glass of water on the floor and being too drunk to clean it up, so I have to do it. It's best to be honest, voice your concern and see the reponse. He says its just because he needs time around males which I understand but don't think he has to stay out for that length of time with no contact. She did you a real disservice by allowing you believe that this could be fixed. That was our compromise. He was at a buddys playing video games. The voyeur pics I have a really big concern over. Im 20F, my boyfriend is 21M, his friends are also both 21M. Give him a few surprises. Given his history, the friends he hangs with, and the fact that he does not answer a text from you at 1am, I'd assume the worst as well. Posts: 3,339. Protect your children, and don't hesitate to keep them away from someone who drinks and does not respect your boundaries. Skip the couple's counseling & try IC. He values his party time & doesn't want to be held to a schedule. Ask a Guy: Why Does He Spend So Much Time With His Guy Friends and Not How does he contribute?
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